Ok, a little ranting and raving here. I am on the job search again. Yes, there are tears involved along with drinking, self-loathing, and just enough desperation any job seems better than none at all. These are actually the needed ingredients for writing the perfect cover letter. It's a pretty soul-destroying frustrating process that I've basically accepted and learned to smile through. Until I came across a job listing tonight.
First, a history lesson.
Now let's be honest- this country was founded on discrimination. It was founded by a group of white, heterosexual (at least on the surface) rich males who intended to keep the power where they thought it should be (in their hands) and created the facade of a vote to make people think that once every couple of years the power was in their hands and that they really were all equals. Discrimination and lies of course eventually gave birth to capitalism and consumerism thus creating the perfect foundation on which we lay all of our bullshit in hopes of building towards a better tomorrow. God bless America.
But here's the loophole. People eventually caught on. And there were protests, and lots of violence, and the past fifty years (and a few amendments later) America has worked very hard at implementing a mask of sorts we refer to as "political correctness". See, here's how it works. You can be a racist, you can be an ageist, a sexist, a masochist, a homophobe... you can hate anybody you want to hate (even yourself) for whatever mundane reason. You just can't talk about it. You can't advertise. You can privately discriminate as much as you damn well please, but you just can't go public with it, because then it becomes an ugly mess.
And we're fine with this. Most of the time being politically correct means twisting our words so what we're saying sounds a lot better than how we mean it. Or, as it's known in more honest cultures...lying. But whatever. Fewer tears are shed, fewer law suits are filed, and we're getting better and better through the aid of our government at filtering our anger out internationally instead of domestically.
So anyway the point of this rant and rave is that I'm on the job search and I come across this ad on VillageVoice.com.
NEEDED.
AFRICAN AMERICAN SECRETARY FOR BUSY MIDTOWN OFFICE.
$10/hr.
Benefits.
Ok. Now, call me crazy but I feel as if this politically correct equality driven society we're working really hard at achieving is actually being completely disregarded by the very people it was created to serve. I can only assume that this employer is an African American and not a Caucasian. Not because I don't think a Caucasian employer would want to post an ad like this. But you can be damn well sure they wouldn't do it out of fear of being deemed a racist or getting their asses sued for such open discrimination. Of course I'm not ruling that out- it could be a really really stupid white person- in which case you could just ignore this blog. But if I'm right (and I suspect I am)- I want to know when discrimination and racism suddenly became acceptable as long as it wasn't directed at a minority group. Because something tells me that if there was an ad in the Village Voice saying "SECRETARY NEEDED. WHITE PERSON ONLY" it wouldn't exactly fly. It probably wouldn't have even been published. Just like my sarcastic suggestion of starting the network WET (White Entertainment Television) is generally passed off as absurdity.
And that is just waaaaaaaaaay too much bullshit and hypocrisy to pile on top of our foundation. Eventually it's going to crumble. Now, if you'll excuse me I have an email to write to the Village Voice classifieds department. Because yes, I'm unemployed and have nothing better to do.
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
Friday, April 20, 2007
Late Night Laughs With The GOP. Ba Dum Dum (::Cue Bomb Instead of Symbol::)
I'm liberal, almost to a fault. I love leftist groups that still actually care enough to form something that could result in even the smallest tidal wave in political action. Something I should confess is that I also sometimes hate things that deep down are good for me or for the world. For example...I hated when my Nana would put Wheatgerm on my yummy sugar infested maple brown sugar oatmeal. I expressed skepticism over Mother Theresa's motivations. The Truth commercials make me want to buy stock in Marlboro. I find racist, sexist, ageist, and all kinds of politically incorrect statements hilarious.
That being said, I hate Moveon.org.
Every day I get a new email in my box from them, each one equally ignored. They're relentless. Yet I can't mark their email address as spam. Partially because there are now too many of them to keep track of. But also because that would, by definition, make me a bad liberal. This is what I stand for right? Then why do Eli and Nita aggravate me so?
I'll tell you why. Their damn "subjects". I'll be one to admit that finding the proper subject title for a mass email is difficult. But really, nothing can excuse what I found in my inbox today.
"BOMBING IRAN: NOT FUNNY."
Did anyone think it was? Is there a group of individuals out there using this for stand up material?? Are Bush and Cheney introducing the idea with the statement, "Boy have we got something John Stewart could use tonight....". I don't know. But just like I say about the person who comes up with the Daily News headlines, there has got to be someone better to do this job....
Nita, Eli, do yourself a favor. Find someone better.
Thank you for that free bumper sticker, though.
After my student loan officer, your organization will be the first to know when I've overcome my economic hardship.
That being said, I hate Moveon.org.
Every day I get a new email in my box from them, each one equally ignored. They're relentless. Yet I can't mark their email address as spam. Partially because there are now too many of them to keep track of. But also because that would, by definition, make me a bad liberal. This is what I stand for right? Then why do Eli and Nita aggravate me so?
I'll tell you why. Their damn "subjects". I'll be one to admit that finding the proper subject title for a mass email is difficult. But really, nothing can excuse what I found in my inbox today.
"BOMBING IRAN: NOT FUNNY."
Did anyone think it was? Is there a group of individuals out there using this for stand up material?? Are Bush and Cheney introducing the idea with the statement, "Boy have we got something John Stewart could use tonight....". I don't know. But just like I say about the person who comes up with the Daily News headlines, there has got to be someone better to do this job....
Nita, Eli, do yourself a favor. Find someone better.
Thank you for that free bumper sticker, though.
After my student loan officer, your organization will be the first to know when I've overcome my economic hardship.
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
The Fight to Eliminate Static and Have Faith In The Constitution: A Story That Will Never Make Sense on Jupiter
The Fight to Eliminate Static and Have Faith In The Constitution: A Story That Will Never Make Sense on Jupiter
I love my part of Astoria. Mostly for the cheap rent but also because it has yet to really be infiltrated with the "we're young and cool but don't fit in with the hipsters in Brooklyn" establishments and people. Not to say I don't like that area, but my part (technically still Long Island City) is mostly Hispanic and mostly families which makes me feel a little more removed from my day to day life. Most of the business owners and people don't speak English very well which is just fine with me. I don't generally have to converse much except to ask for cigarettes and five dollars in quarters to do laundry. That was until Sunday night. I was doing my laundry and putting my clothes in the dryer. I reached for my dryer sheets that claim to smell like mountain air and lilac (apparently the best duo since peanut butter and jelly) when I felt a tap on my shoulder. A woman in her thirties smiled and pointed.
"What are those?"
"Dryer sheets"
"I no understand"
"They're dryer sheets"
"Yes, but what they do?"
"Um...they prevent static I think"
I really don't know what they do. But ever since my Mom sent me off to college with a box they've become a staple in my laundry supplies. And when placed in a roll of toilet paper they create a device that makes your dorm room smell like clean laundry and pot which is of course far less suspicious than pot alone in your stoned paranoid mind.
"No understand. I see box?"
I gave her the box mostly because she already grabbed it from my hand but also I wanted to see how a woman who spoke very little English could somehow decipher the function of dryer sheets from the English instructions on the box.
"I no understand"
I shrug my shoulder and just say "static" as if suddenly all the pieces will fit together and she'll understand why Bounce created this product. And then she'll be able to explain to me why mountain air and lilac go so well together.
For some reason I flashed back to fifth grade. I had this American history teacher who would constantly test our knowledge of our government by asking, "Let's say someone came down from another planet and had no idea what democracy was or any of the words we use to define it like 'vote' or 'president' or 'law'. How would you explain it to them?"
No one would ever really be able to do it because we'd be stuck on how to explain the word 'go' or 'the'. Plus it's not exactly like we could put our skills to the test. Oh hold on Jimmy let me just call the office and get that boy from Jupiter to come here and see if he understands. If someone ever did come down from Jupiter I thought there were far more interesting things we created on earth than democracy that would need to be explained.
Eventually you just start resorting to ludicrous gestures when words fail. Democracy somehow got reduced to circular motions with our hands and arms and someone walking around pretending like they were the president. In this situation static suddenly became some sort of horizontal motion that looked like I had a giant rubber band between my hands. I even picked up my sweater and fondled it thinking that would really drive the point home. I was tempted to just give her one and tell her to try it but I knew that the lack of effect dryer sheets have would confuse her more than my ridiculous hand motions and offer no explanation as to why American mothers send their children to college with them along with pre-measured blocks of Tide, and a case of Ramen noodles. It would just be an empty promise of improvement.
The democratic system we had in our country has become about as functional as dryer sheets. And Democrats and Republicans actually working together seems as ludicrous as the idea that mountain air and lilac are the best duo since peanut butter and jelly. Travelling outside of the US you get a lot of questions about some of our practices. "Why is New York called the Big Apple?" "How many cups of Starbucks do you drink in a day?" "Why do you think Seinfeld is funny?".
I never get asked about our government or called upon to explain checks and balances using hand gestures and simple verbs. Partially because the answer wouldn't really explain our country as well as the secret behind how a show about nothing kept people interested for almost a decade. Or why a company making bad expensive coffee became the greatest corporation since Mac and IBM. But mostly because people just don't care as much as our fifth grade history text books make us believe. Yes, we have a great country but our revolutionary democracy doesn't really seem to really be as alluring or functional to the outsider. Until very recently I used to get angry about the way our government is functioning. Now I have the same feelings as I do about my dryer sheets. I still care, Still I buy dryer sheets hoping they have an effect on my clothing and think for longer than I should about what would be better: mountain rain and lilac or tangerine and white musk? Just like I still try to believe one day very soon democracy will have definition in our lives again. Or at least make more sense than paying for overpriced coffee.
I love my part of Astoria. Mostly for the cheap rent but also because it has yet to really be infiltrated with the "we're young and cool but don't fit in with the hipsters in Brooklyn" establishments and people. Not to say I don't like that area, but my part (technically still Long Island City) is mostly Hispanic and mostly families which makes me feel a little more removed from my day to day life. Most of the business owners and people don't speak English very well which is just fine with me. I don't generally have to converse much except to ask for cigarettes and five dollars in quarters to do laundry. That was until Sunday night. I was doing my laundry and putting my clothes in the dryer. I reached for my dryer sheets that claim to smell like mountain air and lilac (apparently the best duo since peanut butter and jelly) when I felt a tap on my shoulder. A woman in her thirties smiled and pointed.
"What are those?"
"Dryer sheets"
"I no understand"
"They're dryer sheets"
"Yes, but what they do?"
"Um...they prevent static I think"
I really don't know what they do. But ever since my Mom sent me off to college with a box they've become a staple in my laundry supplies. And when placed in a roll of toilet paper they create a device that makes your dorm room smell like clean laundry and pot which is of course far less suspicious than pot alone in your stoned paranoid mind.
"No understand. I see box?"
I gave her the box mostly because she already grabbed it from my hand but also I wanted to see how a woman who spoke very little English could somehow decipher the function of dryer sheets from the English instructions on the box.
"I no understand"
I shrug my shoulder and just say "static" as if suddenly all the pieces will fit together and she'll understand why Bounce created this product. And then she'll be able to explain to me why mountain air and lilac go so well together.
For some reason I flashed back to fifth grade. I had this American history teacher who would constantly test our knowledge of our government by asking, "Let's say someone came down from another planet and had no idea what democracy was or any of the words we use to define it like 'vote' or 'president' or 'law'. How would you explain it to them?"
No one would ever really be able to do it because we'd be stuck on how to explain the word 'go' or 'the'. Plus it's not exactly like we could put our skills to the test. Oh hold on Jimmy let me just call the office and get that boy from Jupiter to come here and see if he understands. If someone ever did come down from Jupiter I thought there were far more interesting things we created on earth than democracy that would need to be explained.
Eventually you just start resorting to ludicrous gestures when words fail. Democracy somehow got reduced to circular motions with our hands and arms and someone walking around pretending like they were the president. In this situation static suddenly became some sort of horizontal motion that looked like I had a giant rubber band between my hands. I even picked up my sweater and fondled it thinking that would really drive the point home. I was tempted to just give her one and tell her to try it but I knew that the lack of effect dryer sheets have would confuse her more than my ridiculous hand motions and offer no explanation as to why American mothers send their children to college with them along with pre-measured blocks of Tide, and a case of Ramen noodles. It would just be an empty promise of improvement.
The democratic system we had in our country has become about as functional as dryer sheets. And Democrats and Republicans actually working together seems as ludicrous as the idea that mountain air and lilac are the best duo since peanut butter and jelly. Travelling outside of the US you get a lot of questions about some of our practices. "Why is New York called the Big Apple?" "How many cups of Starbucks do you drink in a day?" "Why do you think Seinfeld is funny?".
I never get asked about our government or called upon to explain checks and balances using hand gestures and simple verbs. Partially because the answer wouldn't really explain our country as well as the secret behind how a show about nothing kept people interested for almost a decade. Or why a company making bad expensive coffee became the greatest corporation since Mac and IBM. But mostly because people just don't care as much as our fifth grade history text books make us believe. Yes, we have a great country but our revolutionary democracy doesn't really seem to really be as alluring or functional to the outsider. Until very recently I used to get angry about the way our government is functioning. Now I have the same feelings as I do about my dryer sheets. I still care, Still I buy dryer sheets hoping they have an effect on my clothing and think for longer than I should about what would be better: mountain rain and lilac or tangerine and white musk? Just like I still try to believe one day very soon democracy will have definition in our lives again. Or at least make more sense than paying for overpriced coffee.
Wednesday, January 3, 2007
CONSPIRACY
Where have all the Rhinos gone??
KATHMANDU (Reuters) - Dozens of endangered Great One-horned rhinoceros have mysteriously gone missing from a nature reserve in southwest Nepal over the past few years, a wildlife official said on Wednesday.
Authorities introduced 72 rhinos, also known as the Indian rhinoceros, in the Babai Valley, 320 km (200 miles) southwest of Kathmandu, as part of a conservation drive that started in 1984.
"We have records showing 23 rhinos had died due to poaching or other causes. The rest are missing," Laxmi Prasad Manandhar, a senior official at the Department of National Park and Wildlife Conservation, said.
But he ruled out the possibility of all the 49 missing rhinos falling prey to poachers.
"If poachers had killed them they should have left behind the bodies" after taking away the horn, he said, adding that just one rhino skeleton had been found during an extensive search in June.
"Where did they go? I have no answer. It is a mystery," Manandhar said.
The rhinos were moved to Babai Valley from Chitwan National Park on Nepal's southern plains under a conservation scheme supported by global conservation group WWF.
In December, Nepal's Supreme Court ordered the government to step up security at Chitwan -- the Himalayan nation's biggest rhino reserve -- after local media reported at least 10 animals had been killed since July.
Officials say at least 12 rhinos had died in the past six months in Chitwan where their population dropped to 372 in 2005 from 544 in 2000.
Their numbers fell mainly due to poaching for horns which are believed to have aphrodisiac qualities and are in great demand in China.
In the Babai Valley, rhinos were last seen seven years ago when several security posts were closed due to threats from the Maoist rebels who targeted them during their decade-long insurgency against Nepal's monarchy.
The Maoists declared a ceasefire in April and signed a peace deal with the government in November, allowing easier and safer movement of forestry officials.
Nepal began its rhino conservation drive 30 years ago when the population fell to 108 animals from around 800 in 1950. One-horned rhinos are also found in the northeastern Indian state of Assam.
The one-horned species of the rhinoceros has been one of the greatest conservation success stories in South Asia. With strict protection, especially in India, their total numbers have touched around 2,500 from 100 about a century ago.
KATHMANDU (Reuters) - Dozens of endangered Great One-horned rhinoceros have mysteriously gone missing from a nature reserve in southwest Nepal over the past few years, a wildlife official said on Wednesday.
Authorities introduced 72 rhinos, also known as the Indian rhinoceros, in the Babai Valley, 320 km (200 miles) southwest of Kathmandu, as part of a conservation drive that started in 1984.
"We have records showing 23 rhinos had died due to poaching or other causes. The rest are missing," Laxmi Prasad Manandhar, a senior official at the Department of National Park and Wildlife Conservation, said.
But he ruled out the possibility of all the 49 missing rhinos falling prey to poachers.
"If poachers had killed them they should have left behind the bodies" after taking away the horn, he said, adding that just one rhino skeleton had been found during an extensive search in June.
"Where did they go? I have no answer. It is a mystery," Manandhar said.
The rhinos were moved to Babai Valley from Chitwan National Park on Nepal's southern plains under a conservation scheme supported by global conservation group WWF.
In December, Nepal's Supreme Court ordered the government to step up security at Chitwan -- the Himalayan nation's biggest rhino reserve -- after local media reported at least 10 animals had been killed since July.
Officials say at least 12 rhinos had died in the past six months in Chitwan where their population dropped to 372 in 2005 from 544 in 2000.
Their numbers fell mainly due to poaching for horns which are believed to have aphrodisiac qualities and are in great demand in China.
In the Babai Valley, rhinos were last seen seven years ago when several security posts were closed due to threats from the Maoist rebels who targeted them during their decade-long insurgency against Nepal's monarchy.
The Maoists declared a ceasefire in April and signed a peace deal with the government in November, allowing easier and safer movement of forestry officials.
Nepal began its rhino conservation drive 30 years ago when the population fell to 108 animals from around 800 in 1950. One-horned rhinos are also found in the northeastern Indian state of Assam.
The one-horned species of the rhinoceros has been one of the greatest conservation success stories in South Asia. With strict protection, especially in India, their total numbers have touched around 2,500 from 100 about a century ago.
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
I Can Be Your First Degree
Last night I saw the Ed Harris play, "Wrecks", at the Public. Written and directed by our one and only woman hating misogynist would-have-blown-Strindberg-out-of-the-water Neil Labute. The play was fun mostly because Ed Harris was sitting there talking on stage for an hour and the man could make long division look captivating on stage.
Anyhooo....the best part of the eveing has a little back story to it. On Sun I went to go pick up my "Wrecks" ticket when I saw "Durango". When I went to pick up my ticket they said "Oh no...your friend put you down for Sunday (meaning that day) not Tuesday." WELL when Heidi found out about this she gave em hell. So much hell in fact, that this box office girl sat me next to a very special someone:
Kevin Bacon.
The ironic part of the whole thing was this was not the first time Mr. Bacon and I were close. About two years ago he came into a store I was working at on the UWS and had me fit him for a pack for his son who was about to backpack Europe. Yes I touched his body. In case you were wondering.
Anyway, now, the next time you play "Six Degrees Of Kevin Bacon"...you know because people actually do that post 1990...you can say "My friend Faetra sat next to Kevin Bacon at a play at the Public called Wrecks."
Anyhooo....the best part of the eveing has a little back story to it. On Sun I went to go pick up my "Wrecks" ticket when I saw "Durango". When I went to pick up my ticket they said "Oh no...your friend put you down for Sunday (meaning that day) not Tuesday." WELL when Heidi found out about this she gave em hell. So much hell in fact, that this box office girl sat me next to a very special someone:
Kevin Bacon.
The ironic part of the whole thing was this was not the first time Mr. Bacon and I were close. About two years ago he came into a store I was working at on the UWS and had me fit him for a pack for his son who was about to backpack Europe. Yes I touched his body. In case you were wondering.
Anyway, now, the next time you play "Six Degrees Of Kevin Bacon"...you know because people actually do that post 1990...you can say "My friend Faetra sat next to Kevin Bacon at a play at the Public called Wrecks."
Monday, November 13, 2006
The Series of Unfortunate Events of November 13th
These are the bad things that happened to me today.
My uncle died. I don't even really know what to say about this right now. I still haven't cried. I still haven't let it sink.
My phone officially broke. My screen appears to be speaking in some kind of satanic tongue and I need to talk to my friends more than anything right now.
The bottoms of my jeans are wet and torn from walking in the rain.
I ran out of green tea.
My bank ran out of the temporary access cards I needed to access all of my money since losing my debit card over the weekend. The new one won't come in the mail until Tuesday.
I want a hug and the apartment is empty.
Pearl Harbor has nothing on the infamy of today.
My uncle died. I don't even really know what to say about this right now. I still haven't cried. I still haven't let it sink.
My phone officially broke. My screen appears to be speaking in some kind of satanic tongue and I need to talk to my friends more than anything right now.
The bottoms of my jeans are wet and torn from walking in the rain.
I ran out of green tea.
My bank ran out of the temporary access cards I needed to access all of my money since losing my debit card over the weekend. The new one won't come in the mail until Tuesday.
I want a hug and the apartment is empty.
Pearl Harbor has nothing on the infamy of today.
David Ives and Death
This afternoon I am sitting at my desk processing an application for a theatre company to perform a series of David Ives plays when a call gets patched through to my desk. It's my Dad. He sounds like he's been crying.
"I have bad news"
And I just know. The only question is who. Not my brother, please not my brother... was all I kept thinking.
It was my uncle. He died this morning.
And then I get deja vu. Back in August I was sitting at my desk processing an application for a series of David Ives plays when Heidi got patched through and told me that Larry had died.
For now on I will extra cautious when processing requests to do David Ives plays.
That's all I have right now.
"I have bad news"
And I just know. The only question is who. Not my brother, please not my brother... was all I kept thinking.
It was my uncle. He died this morning.
And then I get deja vu. Back in August I was sitting at my desk processing an application for a series of David Ives plays when Heidi got patched through and told me that Larry had died.
For now on I will extra cautious when processing requests to do David Ives plays.
That's all I have right now.
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