There is a reason why people constantly say "Only in New York...." You can really follow that ellipsis up with just about anything and it wouldn't shock most people familiar with this city's erm...quirkiness? Take, for example, the following scene that occurred on my subway ride down to the Cherry Lane last night.
Scene: Downtown 1 Train
Three obnoxiously drunk twenty-something guys are yelling on the train
Guy 1: Hahahahah! Look I can hang from the pole! Look everyone's staring at us!
Guy 2: That's because we're so loud!
Guy 1: Hey man, we're from Scarsdale. We have MONEY. Look at this! I'm rich!
Guy 2 : See, she thinks we're ok!
He points to a random woman who clearly does not think he's "ok"
Guy 1: Hey man, my balls are HUGE!
Guy 2: I want to sing! Let's sing RIGHT NOW!
They begin to drunkenly sing something indecipherable. Their obnoxious yelling/singing carries on through about four stops on the train.
Conductor: This is 23rd street.
Guy 2: This is our stop!
Guy 1: I bet you everyone is glad we're getting off the train! Ha ha ha!
Guy 2: GOOD-BYE EVERYONE!
They exit
Bookish older man: WASPS gone wild.
People around him chuckle
Man: You like that huh? WASPS gone wild. That would be a good title for a book right? WASPS gone wild...yeah...you like that?
(points to a young girl who ignores him)
Yeah...that's a good one. WASPS gone wild!
(begins laughing maniacally until he sees a woman at the other side of the train who is writing in her journal)
ARE YOU WRITING DOWN MY TITLE! DO YOU LIKE THAT?! DON'T STEAL MY FUCKING TITLE! BITCH WHORE!
End Scene
The thing about living here is that appearances mean absolutely nothing. Everyone is crazy. We all will one day be trying to eat our own face on the subway crying for salvation and quarters. So get out while you still can.
