Mother Meryl

Go see Mother Courage and Her Children. Tis a great show.

I think there's nothing Meryl Streep can't do. I'm convinced she is the messiah- she's just biding her time waiting for the most opportune moment to reveal her true heavenly powers.

I had to pee super duper badly between acts one and two but the line was SO long. I held it in instead and by the time the yellow cab dropped me off in Queens I was in physical pain.

I bet you Meryl Streep could hold her pee in for years.

At The End Of The Summer We Move...Somewhere...

I haven't updated this blog in ages, and yet, I still don't feel I have anything worthy to say. Ah remember the days where I could write full sentences...paragraphs even? Remember the days when I actually had the time to read the Times every morning?

Maybe I'm lying to myself and I'm not lacking time. I'm lacking focus. I'm convinced something happens between twenty-two and twenty-five where that which was clear becomes blurry, that which was blurry becomes...more blurry. Exactly. That's what my life is right now- a whole lotta blurry. Other than the "great learning experience of a first production" here's exactly what I've done this summer:

A)Stopped watering the bamboo. Survival of the fittest when it comes to botany in Astoria.
B)Grown to hate my job
C)Learned how to sleep without power in 100 plus degree weather
D)Put tinfoil in the microwave on only one occasion which is some sort of great accomplishment for me
E)I threw out my favorite flip flops because they fell apart.
F) I haven't had ANY bubble tea after the intense overload that happened last summer
G)I bought new boots. I'm wearing them right now. They make me feel powerful.
H)Ended what was turning into a great relationship
I) Ended what was turning into a not so great friendship
J) Am trying to end the feelings I seem to get for all the wrong people at all the wrong times under all the wrong circumstances.
K) Of course I'm continuing to fail admirably at point J
L) Got offered heroin on a first date.
M)Developed a love affair with Foer.

This is depressing. I only made it up to M.

Here's my random thoughts right now: I don't like feeling out of control. I don't like feeling trapped, I don't like feeling like no matter what I do, it will in no way alter the universe. Remember when you were little and you thought you could move mountains. Like at the end of the Dr. Suess book "Oh The Places You Will Go". The last line in that book is KID YOU'LL MOVE MOUNTAINS. All lies, folks. I can't even bring myself to move the coffee table and rearrange the living room. So is this a slump? Maybe it's just the summer. How productive can you really be in the heat?

I Did It For The Food Stamps Baby

Leah has informed me there is a rather gracious gentleman on her block who propositions every woman who walks by with the following line:
"Hey honey..wanna get married? I got food stamps!"

Prospects are bleak. Groceries are expensive.

And life is just generally kicking the shit out of me lately. I don't need to be happy, a handle on things is all I'm asking for. Or maybe for the trains to run in a way that would possibly serve their function as the city's mode of transportation. I cursed someone off on the street on Saturday. It was a hundred fucking degrees, I was tired, the trains weren't running. And then this guy comes up to me and
literally smiles at me and I respond with the following words: "Fuck off! I'm not interested I don't care what it is I'M NOT INTERESTED!"

Seriously guys why am I single? What am I doing wrong?

I'm one step away from Meg Ryan in When Harry Met Sally and she's weeping screaming "I'm difficult!". Hopefully my hair won't look like such a disaster when this happens.

But whatever. It's fine. I'm single. I accepted a date from a man wearing a Star Trek t-shirt. It builds character.