At The End Of The Summer We Move...Somewhere...

I haven't updated this blog in ages, and yet, I still don't feel I have anything worthy to say. Ah remember the days where I could write full sentences...paragraphs even? Remember the days when I actually had the time to read the Times every morning?

Maybe I'm lying to myself and I'm not lacking time. I'm lacking focus. I'm convinced something happens between twenty-two and twenty-five where that which was clear becomes blurry, that which was blurry becomes...more blurry. Exactly. That's what my life is right now- a whole lotta blurry. Other than the "great learning experience of a first production" here's exactly what I've done this summer:

A)Stopped watering the bamboo. Survival of the fittest when it comes to botany in Astoria.
B)Grown to hate my job
C)Learned how to sleep without power in 100 plus degree weather
D)Put tinfoil in the microwave on only one occasion which is some sort of great accomplishment for me
E)I threw out my favorite flip flops because they fell apart.
F) I haven't had ANY bubble tea after the intense overload that happened last summer
G)I bought new boots. I'm wearing them right now. They make me feel powerful.
H)Ended what was turning into a great relationship
I) Ended what was turning into a not so great friendship
J) Am trying to end the feelings I seem to get for all the wrong people at all the wrong times under all the wrong circumstances.
K) Of course I'm continuing to fail admirably at point J
L) Got offered heroin on a first date.
M)Developed a love affair with Foer.

This is depressing. I only made it up to M.

Here's my random thoughts right now: I don't like feeling out of control. I don't like feeling trapped, I don't like feeling like no matter what I do, it will in no way alter the universe. Remember when you were little and you thought you could move mountains. Like at the end of the Dr. Suess book "Oh The Places You Will Go". The last line in that book is KID YOU'LL MOVE MOUNTAINS. All lies, folks. I can't even bring myself to move the coffee table and rearrange the living room. So is this a slump? Maybe it's just the summer. How productive can you really be in the heat?